Welcome to this series of articles connected to International Men’s Day (November 19) where men reflect on what it means to be male. Here we see David being interviewed.
One of my ‘heroes’ (not really role models) is Thomas Merton: extrovert man of the world turned contemplative monk and poet. Currently I’m admiring Grayson Perry, for his perception and confidence in who he is.
Name: David Place of residence: Liverpool, UK Age: 73
Are you glad to be a man? Why (not)?
Took me a long time to realise this, but on the whole yes. Never thought of myself as Alpha Male (far from it) but I think I am just glad to be who I am. Male-female-gay-straight whatever.
Men are at the extremes of success, on the one hand they are more likely to be directors, managers and politicians, on the other hand more likely to be homeless, have severe mental illnesses and be in prison. Why do men have such big extremes?
Refer you to Grayson Perry’s idea of ‘default man’. If we don’t/can’t conform to the ‘successful white heterosexual male’ stereotype we need a lot of self confidence. And ‘default man’ can pretend he has this without internalising it, or take refuge in external markers of success. The rest of us if we fail to live up to that image can easily fall into depression etc.
All over the world, men are more likely than women to commit suicide (data). Why is this? What do you think can be done to address this?
See previous. Plus women are more confident talking about their feelings and can share with friends on a more intimate level. So to address this we need to deprogramme from default man mode.
When did you have your last check-up for prostrate and testicular cancer? Why don’t men tend to look after their health?
About 5 years ago. All the above I suppose: we are supposed to be strong and self-reliant. But I don’t think I have an inbuilt meter to check ‘worry levels’: i.e.. mostly when I go to the doctors I’m told it is nothing serious; but does that mean I was right to go nevertheless or that I was wasting the doctor’s time?
What male role models do you have?
I can’t say I have really thought about it. One of my ‘heroes’ (not really role models) is Thomas Merton: extrovert man of the world turned contemplative monk and poet. Currently I’m admiring Grayson Perry, for his perception and confidence in who he is.
How is it possible to address the problems that men and women face without competition between them?
I think whenever people (whatever gender) get together there is an element of competition. But a bit less of male swagger would help.
What’s your message for men for this year’s International Men’s Day?
Be confident in who you are whatever you are.
If you wish to sponsor Janick who is taking part with Movember, an initiative to raise money towards combatting prostrate and testicular cancer as well as, in Poland, male depression, please go to this link. Males are invited to be be interview partners by going looking at the questions here and answering them as a comment underneath. The answers will later be published as an article.
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