Welcome to this series of articles connected to International Men’s Day (November 19) where men reflect on what it means to be male. Here we see Roy S. being interviewed.
Name: Roy S.
Place of residence: Berlin,
Germany Age: 25
Are you glad to be a man? Why (not)?
I’m not really sure. I think about male privilege quite a lot and it makes me very uncomfortable. Part of that might be a reaction to realising that some things I have achieved have happened not because I worked hard for them, but because of the label I was given at birth.
In other ways though, I appreciate it.
Men are at the extremes of success, on the one hand they are more likely to be directors, managers and politicians, on the other hand more likely to be homeless, have severe mental illnesses and be in prison. Why do men have such big extremes?
Men have always been expected to take part in the public/political sphere (as opposed to the private/domestic). In politics life is more often than not about winning or losing, and in such a binary situation it is unsurprising that there is so little space for a middle ground. If men don’t fit that power dynamic, then they will get angry that they do not have that which they (wrongly) believe they are entitled to, and that anger creates problems for everyone.
All over the world, men are more likely than women to commit suicide. Why is this? What do you think can be done to address this?
A lot of the answer to this question is contained in the answer to the last one. Men feel entitled to certain things based on their gender, and when that is threatened they get angry and frustrated, both with others and themselves.
If we could remove the pressure on men to achieve in this way, we might have a better chance of curtailing that resentment before it can foment into anger.
When did you have your last check-up for prostrate and testicular cancer? Why don’t men tend to look after their health?
I went to an all boy’s school, so we were taught from a young age that “when in doubt, check it out.” We learned how to feel our testes for lumps, and I have done this pretty much ever since from the age of 13, about once a month. I had a scare around 16 and went to the doctor, but that was probably more paranoia than anything else.
As for prostate cancer, I’m not yet in an at-risk group so it is unlikely I will have one for a little while yet. Being British, I still have the very working class notion of not wanting to “bother” the doctor, and preferring not to grumble about any aches or pains I might have. Part of that might stem from the man’s need to be strong and the main breadwinner, or even a martyr complex – I will sacrifice myself by working until I can work no more.
What male role models do you have?
I have various role models. Arnold Schwarzenegger is one, partly because he represents a post-modern hyperreal masculine ideal that is unachievable but good fun to watch in action! Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris are similar such models.
More than him though, I admire figures in their early fifties, such as Inspector Morse or Horace Rumpole. They are middle aged, well educated (white, middle class) men who are flawed and vulnerable while containing in them a spark of genius.
How is it possible to address the problems that men and women face without competition between them?
Problems of men and women: It isn’t. In the words of Grayson Perry (whose own masculinity is interesting to explore), men must sit down for their rights. While men may suffer more from depression and suicide, women can’t live their lives without wondering whether the man opposite them on the train will kill her or not. Men’s problems pale in comparison. Deal with male anger first, as then everyone benefits.
What’s your message for men for this year’s International Men’s Day?
Message for Men: Check your privilege and learn to be still.
Janick’s particpation in Movember, an initiative to raise money towards combatting prostrate and testicular cancer as well as, in Poland, male depression, ends today. To sponsor him, please go to this link.
movember wroclaw 