Tomorrow (November 19th) is International Men’s Day. One of the focuses of IMD is that of celebrating the work some men do as fathers. I’m not wanting people to get on their knees or anything, but a bit of affirmation isn’t a bad thing, eh? I know fathers who are having a lot of responsibility, not only being totally hands-on with their children, but also working long hours.
Now, Dads who give a fuck is a page on Facebook I follow. I like the title and content of the page, it sums up how I see fatherhood. Here’s why:
1. The words “giving a fuck” are usually used when one says “I don’t give a fuck”, which means, “I really don’t care”. “Dads who give a fuck” , as I understand it, therefore means dads who more than care, they fucking care.
2. Ah, the swear word won’t be liked by everyone. I like the phrase though, as it shows men who are passionate about their caring for their children. Not in a dopy (as beloved in some TV programmes) way, but in an intensive way. Being caring isn’t just about changing nappies, it’s about fighting for ones child, getting angry about things that can harm it, things like violence (be that physical or verbal), genital mutilation, blind obedience to older people, having their spirit crushed in schools, conservative gender roles, being used as wish-fulfillment objects by their parents and being humiliated by parents in online media. These are things to not just get angry about, but fucking angry about. This isn’t dopy.
3. Because my son is fucking ace.
4. Because my son having a male role model will benefit his mental health; the lack of male role models is one reason for the reason why men are more likely than women to commit suicide. Worldwide.
5. Because the alternative for my wife is not an option. I don’t want my wife to be stuck at home the rest of her life. She should have the chance to grow not just as a mother.
6. Because I want to be part of the growing change in father involvement in the life of their children, something that is getting normalised.
7. Because I want to make sure that he can be free to express himself, and not, as society may tell him, “shut up” because he’s male. Such shutting up leadIs to depression and psychosomatical reactions.
8. Because I want to be there for him should he have any problems for as long as I live.
9. Because, by being with him, I can bring across non-violent communication, something to go against society’s conditioning of males to be violent.
10. Because it’s good for me. Being with him is not always easy, but generally it makes me more joyful and calmer.
I make loads of mistakes, like. The new generation of dads who give a fuck are largely having to work it out for themselves (to make a massive generalisation) due to absent/old-fashioned/dead fathers. Therefore, to all the dads who give a fuck, I wish you a happy International Men’s Day! Treat yourself/I hope you get treated!
If you wish to sponsor Janick who is taking part with Movember, an initiative to raise money towards combatting prostrate and testicular cancer as well as, in Poland, male depression, please go to this link.
movember wroclaw 